Apollo Players: The Ladykillers by Graham Linehan

Right from the start, this play has a lot going for it: Graham Linehan is a gifted comedy writer, famous for creating such classics as ‘Black Books’, ‘The IT Crowd’ and ‘Father Ted’, so his rework of a classic Ealing comedy is sure to be a quality script. Add to that an experienced and insightful director and a highly talented cast, and you have a winning formula. And that’s even without the brilliantly constructed set which makes inspired use of every inch of stage space.

Every character is finely drawn, even to the group of little old ladies twittering in, led by Chris Turvey as Mrs Tromleyton, ready to enjoy a concert and leaving slightly bewildered at the cacophony, but managing in the process to spook Louis Harvey, the mafia-style gangster with an aversion to old ladies played with a wonderful air of menace tinged with vulnerability by Dave Newton.

Ian Moth’s portrayal of blustering Major Courtney reminded me of Stephen Fry’s General Melchett, complete with impressive moustache, while Pete Harris’s Harry Robinson was every inch the classic spiv. Yet each of these supposedly hard men had his vulnerability: the Major rushing to the toilet at the prospect of actually going through with the robbery and Harry popping pills and obsessively cleaning everything in sight.

Only One-Round, played to perfection by Paul Gwinnett, seemed to have no qualms at the prospect of committing the planned crime – and perhaps that was because he didn’t quite understand the implications. His misunderstandings made for some great comedy however.

Holding this band of misfits together – well, almost – was the mastermind of the project, Professor Marcus, played with brilliant comic timing and characterisation by Michael Arnell, whose portrayal, as events unfolded, of a man thinking on his feet and half a beat away from total meltdown at times was a lynchpin of the piece.

The other lynchpin was Mrs Wilberforce, played with a great combination of sweetness, innocence and guile by Marylyn Ford. Her conversations with Nick Turvey’s local policeman Constable Macdonald were some of the evening’s funniest, evoking her journey from dotty old lady to criminal mastermind perfectly.

First night audiences left with comments such as ‘Absolutely fabulous’, ‘Hilarious’ and ‘Brilliant’ on their lips. You have a few more chances to find out just how brilliant for yourself – the show runs tonight (Saturday) and from Tuesday 7th to Saturday 11^th February starting at 7.30pm.

But hurry – tickets are selling fast!

'The Ladykillers'

Most people will know of this immensely entertaining crime caper as one of Ealing Studios’ finest offerings, in which the redoubtable elderly widow Mrs. Wilberforce, who likes to report suspicious behaviour to the police, rents out rooms in her house to the dapper Professor Marcus (originally and unforgettably played by Alec Guinness) and his cohort of thieves without honour, constantly bickering among themselves.  

Posing as a string quintet, they pull off a bank robbery, but slip up in front of the old lady as they try to escape.  Agreed that they need to murder her, the bumbling crooks prove no match for Mrs Wilberforce’s old-fashioned Victorian values: they’re dispatched to their early graves with witty heartlessness, as she goes magisterially on her way, hatpin firmly in place. 

The stage play of 'The Ladykillers' has been adapted from the film by the prolific pen of Graham Linehan, also famous for such comedies as 'Father Ted', 'The IT Crowd', 'Count Arthur Strong' and 'Black Books'.

This is a fascinating and complex black comedy which transcends its apparently simplistic plot: it can be seen as an allegory on the state of Britain at mid-century (it was originally filmed in 1955), symbolising decrepit England in extremis, with its feeble, grasping, self-deluded citizens and the faded idealism of the British Empire that is holding the nation back – or you can simply sit back and enjoy its near flawless script and laugh at the familiar but somehow still sinister jokes.

'The Ladykillers' is at The Apollo Theatre from February 3rd to 11th (not Sunday or Monday) at 7.30pm. Tickets are now available on our website!

'Wyrd Sisters' - The Apollo Players

Terry Pratchett is widely regarded as a god of fantasy literature. To attempt to stage a play based on one of his novels is in itself commendable, and to achieve the mixture of charm, hilarity and sheer silliness worthy of the book and play versions of 'Wyrd Sisters' is a credit to directors Dan Burns and Eve Fradgley, and to their cast.


The play opens with some slightly familiar lines: 'When shall we three meet again?', delivered by a trio of suitably weird-looking witches, the Wyrd Sisters of the title. The reply however is less Shakespearean: 'I can make next Wednesday,' says a witch, consulting her diary.

This sets the atmosphere for the play, introducing characters at once familiar and strange: the witches themselves are dominated by Granny Weatherwax:, played with hilarious gravity by Carole Crow, with homely, motherly Nanny Ogg and young, inexperienced romantic Magrat Garlick, brought to dreamy-eyed life by Carol Simpson.

Meanwhile in the castle, the ghost of a murdered King (David Pratchett) waits to get his revenge on evil Duke Felmet: Simon Cardew's manic portrayal of the guilty Duke sinking further and further into madness, trying to scrub invisible blood from his hands with a nail file is a joy, while Glenys Lloyd-Williams flounces around the stage cracking her whip, perfect as his scheming wife.

A baby and a crown are spirited away into an acting troop - babies, Granny explains, are easy to hide as there are so many of them, while crowns have a habit of being found. But when both are needed to save the kingdom, magic spells, accompanied by pyrotechnics and smoke of course, along with a play within a play, save the day and in true Pratchett fashion the evil Duke and Duchess are defeated and the true king - sort of - rules. Magrat gets her man - the Fool, played by Mark Duffus - and all live happily ever after.

Other notable mentions go to John Sole as the leader of the actors, Amy Burns as Tomjon and Dave Talbot as the Chamberlain, and they are supported by a background cast of Apollo actors taking on various roles including guards, robbers and actors.

'Wyrd Sisters' is perfect pre-Christmas viewing with its pantomime-like features and humour, and is suitable for all the family. it runs from Tuesday 13th to Saturday 17th December with performance starting at 7.30pm.

Wyrd Sisters

Whether you’re a fan of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels – in which case you may well have read ‘Wyrd Sisters’ in its original book form – or you have no notion who or what the Discworld is – you’ll still enjoy the play version of ‘Wyrd Sisters’.

Something is rotten in the kingdom of Lancre: Good King Verence has been murdered by Evil Duke Felmet who is now ruling in his place. Verence is understandably somewhat miffed about this and is busy haunting the castle to get his revenge.

Meanwhile, three local witches are – well, being witches. Round about the cauldron go, and all that – but they know a secret that could be the key to righting all the wrongs in Lancre....

...and when the Evil Duke decides to have a play performed, the Wyrd Sisters decide the play’s the thing...wherein to catch the conscience of the Duke... and reinstate the rightful king...

Yes, Shakespeare had a few similar ideas, but he never mixed them up like this!

‘Wyrd Sisters’ is a real family play, just the thing to enjoy on a cold December evening.

See you there!

'Wyrd Sisters' runs from December 9th - 17th (not Sunday or Monday); more information and ticket booking are now available via the Apollo Theatre's website.

The Box Office opens from Saturday December 3rd.

Seals and Humans - What Does It All Mean?

Rehearsal shot: Mary and Gen reminisce about their past life in the ocean

Although The Selkie Wife may appear to be about a fantasy world in which people can transform themselves into seals at will, there is an underlying, all too real, message for us non-Selkie humans.

The women in Kelley Jo Burke's play have become Selkies as a result of being saved at the point of death from abusive relationships. In recognition of this theme, we are dedicating the back page of our programme to the Island Women's Refuge who do essential and amazing work to support women who have suffered domestic abuse.

After being in a controlling environment, our Selkies understandably relish and treasure the freedom, power and independence they acquire: the ocean is a world of endless possibilities, theirs to explore.

This is why Gen cannot understand why Mary has chosen to forsake all that to spend twenty years on land with her husband and daughter: how could a dreary life in a small town compare with the power to 'call up the maelstrom, just for the ride'?

It is young Dylan who starts to grasp the alternative: the metaphor of the walkers, a couple who stroll along the cliff edge, both subconsciously protecting the other from possible danger, gives him an insight into a relationship in which each partner cares more for the other than for themselves; where they live a life of mutual support and love. 

The dichotomy Burke presents us with is that in order to achieve this deep, lovingly committed relationship, one has to sacrifice some of one's own power and make oneself vulnerable to the other person. And this is a threatening prospect for those who have been hurt in previous relationships.

By distancing us from the horrifying suffering women can endure by use of mythology, The Selkie Wife manages to convey the depth of its message while remaining positive, mesmerising, funny and uplifting.

The Selkie Wife is playing at The Apollo Theatre on 21, 22, and 25-29 October - tickets from the Box Office (open 11am - 2pm daily) at the theatre in Pyle Street, Newport, by phoning the Box Office on.    Or via our website 

The Selkie of Sule Skerry

The Selkie male is traditionally irresistible to the human woman.

At the start of The Selkie Wife, audiences will be treated to a beautiful rendition of a haunting traditional Orkney song, The Selkie of Sule Skerry, sung to the accompaniment of acoustic guitar. Music from this song also recurs providing atmospheric underpinning for key moments in the play.

This is, as far as we can remember, the first time a dramatic piece at The Apollo has included live music performances, and that along with being the UK Premiere makes The Selkie Wife a very special Apollo production.

The song follows the more common Selkie theme of a Selkie man seducing a human woman: she laments that she does not know where her child's father is, and he appears to tell her that he is only a man on land, but is a seal in water. He takes his son to the child's destiny, since children of Selkies can themselves also take the form of seals and swim away.

The song was collected in print only in the nineteenth century, when it was listed as Child Ballad No 113; there are many different versions of the song and it has been recorded by artists as varied as Joan Baez, Steeleye Span and the Breton singer Cecile Corbel.

But we love our version: you can hear an extract sung and played live on The Chris Sullivan Programme on Vectis Radio at 2pm on Tuesday 18 October, which will whet your appetite for the whole thing at our shows on October 21st, 22nd and 25th -29th.

To listen to the radio broadcast go to: Vectis Radio Listen Live

To book tickets for The Selkie Wife go to: Apollo Theatre - The Selkie Wife

Selkies and Humans

Selkie by Caroline Emerick 2013

Despite its ‘otherworldly’ subject matter, ‘The Selkie Wife’ deals with all too human dilemmas.

An amusing subplot shows the effect a handsome young man, particularly one whose knowledge of social morality is loose, has on an impressionable teenage girl; fathers of young girls will fully sympathise with Cal as he tries vainly to protect his daughter’s honour and her ‘peanut butter virginity’.

A more serious central image is that of ‘the walkers’: couples who unconsciously give mutual physical protection as they walk along the cliff edge, because, as Mary explains to Dylan, if something bad should happen, each wants to look after the other: ‘they’d rather be dead than the one left behind’.

This idea of loving someone else more than oneself is contrasted with the Selkie life of individual freedom: attractive to anyone who has been abused and denied freedom, as the women in the play have: the fear of making oneself vulnerable to more hurt by falling in love again is implicit in the character of Gen, who struggles to understand why Mary has made a life on land with Cal.

Striking, funny, heart-rending and beautifully written, ‘The Selkie Wife’ also gives the audience much to ponder.